Week 2 - Day 4 - Loosing patience

I'm already at the point where keeping to the program is getting more difficult. Today, I am tired. I have been working out 1 or 2 times per day and the results well, could not be seen this early, but no result combined with tired and I just have to keep looking at the calendar and doing whatever it says. Today I thought I read go back to sleep, but Girlfriend convinced me it said Burn Intervals. After that its Ab Burner. Its one of the longer workouts and I was tired. Its not heavy weight, but I was tired when we started, and tired when it was over.
Oh then there is thing called work. Yes, we still have to go there and give, the proverbial 110% and since I'm at a startup, 110% is just getting by for slackers. I wanted to fall asleep at my desk and today work was well, it tested my patience and I continued until about 7pm. At which time I took a 5 min nap to get fired up to swim and run.
We should redefine fired up in this case, as I don't really feel like leaving the house but I guess have to because the calendar says I do. I'm not ready to wuss out yet, I'm just not motivated. We went to the gym.
The swim was better today:

• 50 warm up
• 4x50 head up
• 2x50 just under race pace
• 50 cool down

It was at least worth getting wet, but hardly felt like a workout.  Then it was time to jog.  I'm always cautious about saying the word run, that set some expectation of speed, and that might be lying.  About 20mins total, all on a treadmill so I used an incline of 1%. 

• 5 mins - walk warm up at 4mph
• 1 min -5.5mph
• 1min - 4 mph
• 1min - 6mph
• 1min - 4mph
• 3min - 6 mph
• 1min - 4mph
• 3min - 6.2 mph
• 1min - 4 mph
• 3min - 6.5 mph
• Cool Down

 I really did like the running today.  It was the best I felt all day.  My heart rate hit 166 at the end, which I am sure is bad and means I ran too hard, but that's what I do.  My heart rate is higher than I like and it won't go down.  I also did all the jogging on my toes.  I have been steadily increase the amount of time I can run on my toes vs a heel strike.  That has been a great benefit of this training so far.  But I'm not sure how I will run on race day just yet.  I want to try to be on my toes more, but I really just want to be faster in less pain.  I felt like I was at a conversational pace the entire time except the very last part of the 6.5 mph jog.

So here is the thing, I'm walking out of the gym and I see myself in the mirror and I still look out of shape, only now I'm tired and have more pains.  This is just brutal honesty.   You aren't going to look different in 2 weeks and you probably feel worse.  I certainly don't feel fast.  So I have to keep doing what the calendar the says and trust the plan, because if you just thought feeling energized and looking great would keep you going, that's absurd.  I'm glad I have a workout buddy to kick my butt out of bed.  And really this blog, where I would have to admit failure if I gave up.  In reality these work outs aren't even that hard, I just have to keep pushing play.